Resilient kids are optimistic kids.
Parents play an important role in helping their children build resilience so that they can deal with friendship dramas and bounce back from disappointments.
The International Resilience Project led by Edith Grotberg in 1995 found that children who have positive attitudes are often more resilient. She defines resiliency in terms of three sources, which she labels I HAVE (social and interpersonal supports), I AM (inner strengths) and I CAN (interpersonal and problem-solving skills).
You can help your child to be more resilient by encouraging them to have an optimistic approach to solving problems
I have
- ‘People around me I trust, and who love me no matter what’
- ‘People who set limits for me so I know when to stop before there is danger or trouble’
- ‘People who show me how to do things right by the way they do things’
- ‘People who want me to learn to do things on my own’
- ‘People who help me when I am sick, in danger or need to learn’
I am
- ‘A person people can like and love’
- ‘Glad to do nice things for others and show my concern’
- ‘Respectful of myself and others’
- ‘Willing to be responsible for what I do’
- ‘Sure things will be alright
I can
- ‘Talk to others about things that frighten or bother me’
- ‘Find ways to solve problems that I face’
- ‘Control myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous’
- ‘Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone or to take action
(Reproduced from Grotberg, E. (1995))